7 BOUNDARY SCRIPTS: When To Speak Up And What To Say When Someone's Crossed Your Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are such an important part of self-care. When you have them in place, you feel worthy, confident and empowered. You feel like you get to take up some space on this planet. Part of maintaining healthy boundaries is the ability to communicate them clearly and effectively. My goal is to make it as easy as possible for you to do just that!
...So, I'm gonna share 7 done-for-you scripts to help you speak your truth. I’m giving you statements you can say to speak up when somebody’s pushing, or crossing your boundaries. Because when we get caught off guard, we tend not to respond as fast as we'd like, or we never say anything at all.
I recommend you practice/rehearse saying them, even before you’re in a situation where you’ll need to speak up. Having some of these in your back pocket can be super helpful. You'll have a go-to response you can deliver - lightning-fast - to express what you want them to do, or not to do. Here are a few I plucked from my course The Boundary Foundry™️ Basics Course.
Script One: Say someone’s pushing your boundaries by getting overly angry, losing their cool and getting rude. You can say something like this…
- Civility is really important to me during disagreements. So if you keep yelling, or calling me names, I'm going to leave and then you can let me know when you're ready to come back and continue respectfully.
That's a very clear line communicating that you will not allow abuse.
Script Two: You're repeatedly asked to do something with, or for someone and you're not in the mood. An easy statement can be...
- No, thanks, I've got other plans.
You don't have to make excuses…don't have to apologize. This is short and to the point. Plans can be that you just wanna sit home and veg out watching TV. These are perfectly legitimate plans that support your relaxation and self care.
Script Three: You're having a disagreement and the other person is losing their sh*t. (Another civility issue) A great statement can be...
- It's perfectly okay to be angry, it's not okay to slam or throw things.
It's not okay for somebody to behave in a way that feels abusive, or scary. That's crossing a huge boundary line.
Script Four: You're getting calls and work emails late into the evenings, or on the weekends. You can say, or write...
- I'll check my email, when I get into the office tomorrow (Monday) and I'll respond to you then.
This is a good one for work boundaries, especially in light of the latest work-from-home trend. I've been reading articles lately about how many bosses and co-workers work 24/7 and expect everyone else to do the same. I’d love for you to give yourself permission to set a clear boundary with your work if this has been your experience.
These are great, right? Isn't it helpful to have a sort of cheat sheet at the ready? For the final three done-for-you scripts, check out the full Youtube video HERE.
Your self-care coach,
Lorie
Ps...These are just a small sample of the training I give in my Boundary Foundry™️ Basics Course. I go much deeper into this topic and teach you how to forge better boundaries. If you've been saying to yourself - It's time to stop allowing bad behavior with certain people in my life, or I'm done with being a chronic people-pleaser, because I'm neglecting myself - then this course is right up your alley. Have a LOOK HERE.