Stop Negative Thoughts & Start Positive, Empowered Thinking In 4 Steps
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Are you verbally abused...by the voice in your head? You know, that negative voice that constantly torments you? Well, there's a term for it. It's called an A.N.T., an automatic negative thought.
We have about 60,000 thoughts a day, or more...and studies show that 90% of those thoughts are negative. Poor us, right? It's no wonder we're struggling. Dr. Aaron Beck is the one that coined the term in the 1960s. His clients were coming to see him for depression, and he noticed they had these consistent, automatic negative thoughts. He realized these A.N.T.s contributed to their poor health and depression. Fast forward to the here and now, the current psychiatrist, Dr. Amen, re-popularized the term in one of his current books.
So how do you deal with ants? Well, you certainly can't spray RAID on your brain, however, you can transform them. So are you ready?
Are you ready to transform them? {Transformation happening NOW…Imagine a kaleidoscope and some swirling sound…hehe}
Turn your A.N.T.s into P.E.T.s! P.E.T.s is an acronym for positive, empowering thoughts. I found this acronym in a blog article in BeBrainFit.com, and just loved it.
First, find the trigger. The trigger is something that caused you to react in a certain way that then caused the negative thought. For instance, I'm a mom. There are moments when my kids do something that upsets me, so that could be a trigger. Then, I might lose my cool and yell at them, which is the emotional reaction to the trigger. Next comes the A.N.T., which can be something like “I’m such a horrible mom," and this A.N.T. could keep me feeling guilty for days, or longer.
...Let's recap with a new plan.
- Trigger - You're going to find the trigger.
- Awareness - Notice the A.N.T.
- Reframe - What you want to do next is create a new thought, or P.E.T. You'll want to reframe that negative thought. So in my case, I could say, “You know, everybody's human, I can have a weak moment, it's okay.” Self-compassion is so important here.
- Conscious Action - The final step is conscious action. So what I could say for my example is…”Okay, I was stressed out and overwhelmed, and I over-reacted." In my example, I could recognize my emotional state, which is actually the trigger before the kid trigger. So…for this step, I could ask myself…”What do I do instead? What would I like to do next time? Maybe I need more “me time'' in order to be able to feel more rested, grounded and more patient. This is how you can build more emotional regulation and emotional intelligence.
Most of my clients come to me struggling and tormented by their A.N.T.s. They re-live this horrible, daily cycle of shame, guilt and anxiety, and could really use a healthy dose of self-worth. One of the ways they’ve done this is setting better boundaries in their mental and emotional life. They’ve learned how to do this through The Boundary Foundry course.
The Boundary Foundry helped them learn how to get more time to rest, restore and rejuvenate themselves. This, in turn, helped them more easily transform their A.N.T.s into P.E.T.s.
Your self-care coach,
Lorie
